I took a much needed break from social media and this blog! After reading blogposts, facebook statuses and tweets from self-proclaimed bwe writers and supporters, I found myself becoming very bitter, angry and just all around unhappy. Some of these posts are thought provoking while some of them are just depressing. I began to feel that BW are equally as DBR as BM and that there's no point in continuing to blog about it. But the emails from you sweet ladies made me feel better! :)
However, I urge you to be careful of the forums, groups, and pages that you visit because after a while you cannot help but to believe the things people write. That and people can be cruel on the internet. You do not need to ingest negativity no matter who the source is!
For instance, I believe BW nowadays should focus on themselves and creating their best life possible! We have a lot of work to do as a collective to restore our honor and take care of ourselves. Obesity, unemployment, poverty, etc. are all heavy issues that will take some strategic planning and TIME to overcome. Now while I encourage BW to find husbands that are loving and good providers, I do not look down on single black mothers. I know things do not always work out as planned. Men leave, they change. It happens. Even if a woman has several children by several fathers, there is almost always some history of sexual abuse and mental illness in her past. This needs to be addressed and not ignored! Instead of posting pictures of single mothers and ranting about "the struggle" and how black women are addicted to it, why don't we offer resources for young black girls so they won't turn out like this!? Why do people go on and on about what BW need to do without actually giving advice on how to NOT do it!? It's very frustrating because these so called bwe pages/sites sound just like black men who talk about us! It's very sad and I feel like because of this the term "bwe" is no longer about being empowered but just upwardly-mobile BW to brag about how much better their lives are than "struggle mammies".
So I'm back from my hiatus and have some posts that I'm writing in time for the holidays. I hope your Halloween was fun and safe! I hosted a party at my home for the first time and it turned out fantastic. I quit my awful job and took an internship in child protective services but that was very depressing so I'm now unemployed. I get an allowance from my husband so I can continue to keep my nails, hair and wardobe looking nice. I'm just concentrating on finishing by bachelor's in Business so I can go to beauty school. My dream is to own a chain of full-service spas that specialize in ethnic skin/hair (the holistic approach of course, no botox injections lol). I have made some future-dermatologist friends on campus who are interested in it as well! You never know where the world will take you :)
Enjoy your Sunday and I look forward to posting again soon.
xoxo
Yay, I'm glad you are back from your hiatus! Glad you will be finishing your bachelor's in Business :) A holistic full service ethnic spa would be a dream ^_^
ReplyDeleteI read a lot of blogs and sometimes their posts do become depressing but I just take whatever is said with a grain of salt. I like to balance the level of pessimism with certain Black women blogs with optimism of other blogs, like yours :)
I just found your site and I am thankful for that. Last year I found what I thought would be good encouraging sites for black women and instead found a lot of bullies, hate and just nasty things in general. After reading those sites I figured humans aren't worth the air they breathe no matter the color of their skin or their gender. So I am glad to find this site with hopes that it is more positive long term than many of the other sites out there.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on having your goals in hand btw. I think you could make a great business and with hopes one will open in my area one day. We could use some spas, beauty places and things that have products and services for bw.
You are definitely right about BWE blogs. I've always taken the stance of take advice that it applicable to your life and toss the rest. I also make sure to read blogs and watch videos from black women of a more carefree persuasion between reading about strategy.
ReplyDeleteWow, your goals are impressive! You've even made friends interested in the same career field as you are. I think your dream would be best suited for you because you have given great tips for skin care. I wish you luck in your endeavors. :)
Yep! I've been saying this for a while now. Most of these blogs/websites/forums/FB pages etc. are just nothing but hate. They sound just like SWP, Tommy S, Tariq Nasheed etc. yet complain about how these men talk about BW. I've had to realize BWE is no more and maybe never was even with the orignials. When you are advocating the abortion of black boys if you find out your baby is boy, start downing BW because some a mother has a website about doing black children (adopted, birthed) hair for non white parents, yet forget these women learned from BW OMG, bashing BM (yes I said that) and equating it with calling them out on their mess (which is legitimate, constantly talking about what BM are doing, who they chose instead of BW etc (which tells me most of these BW still want BM . These chicks need help. Some of the posts just make me realize that so many have issues and need to stop giving advice and get help.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know you're not the only one http://survivingdating.com/moving-past-fuckery-black-women-bwe
http://fedupblackwoman.blogspot.com/2014/07/i-dont-support-militant-black-women-or.html http://fedupblackwoman.blogspot.com/2014/11/so-ive-decided-to-not-follow.html
https://www.facebook.com/bawonioremisafyah/posts/724332734372692 you are just on a long list of BW who have come to the same conclusion.
you should also check out Eugenia Bergs blog/vlog (she doesn't really post much anymore)
https://marriedgirlinaweirdworld.wordpress.com/ her old blog but I think she actually put these posts on her newer one http://singlegirlinaweirdworld.blogspot.com/ and you should definitely check out her videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtPUJvhjcuQ
Too many BW have told me that once their self esteem/self worth improved they ending up meeting quality BM as well as other non BM.
https://web.archive.org/web/20160624110444/https://blackfeministhaven.com/2016/06/23/trading-in-one-form-of-oppressor-for-another-why-i-no-longer-look-at-bwe-sites/
DeleteFrankly I don't think she means well. I think that's a problem women the world over seem to have a problem with. Acknowledging that just like anyone else woman can be using them to make money. Her site is to make money. She got into a niche to bank. She also got into it to maker herself a celebrity.
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