Feminine Makeup: Examples

For those of you that enjoy wearing makeup, this post is for you! We are all born beautiful and our various shades of brown skin are absolutely amazing but there's no harm in a little "extra". Looking put together and polished will make anyone feel a lot better.

Nowadays, heavy makeup is in style. Because of youtube and instagram, many women think thick drawn on eyebrows, glittery cut creases and bold lipstick with blush is cute and "expressive". Yes, makeup is an art but looking like a drag queen isn't a good look for the feminine young Black woman.

Makeup shouldn't look like it is melting off your face. In the daytime , it should look like that's what you naturally look like or even a little bit more, like this:

Here are some good looks for the evening:

Do you see how they added color to their eyes and toned their lips and cheeks down?

Bold lips and glowy skin are the perfect combo for the evening. Bold and beautiful!

Stay tuned for the next posts in the Feminine Makeup series: Do's and Don'ts, General tips, Best blogs for woc makeup and Product Reccomendations.

The important of the feminine black woman's image

It's widely known that your image and attitude dictates the perception people have about you and affects your everyday life. Your personal image is composed of a number of elements: the way you dress, your posture, the way you talk, the way you walk, etc. TAKE CARE OF YOUR PERSONAL IMAGE!

Some might say, what does it matter what people think of you? What does being Black have to do with it?

which group of women look like they have respectable jobs, loving husbands, own homes and businesses and have a high self-esteem and respect for themselves?

What does it matter and what does being black have to do with it?
Well, for starters other's perceptions are important to us during job interviews, at work, when building friendships and business partnerships, when dating, when going grocery shopping, etc. How many times a day do you think people judge one another and make decisions based on  their perception? Do you think you can walk into an interview with unbrushed teeth, wearing sweats and slouching?

Image is important because we have to really jump through hoops to get ahead and the first obstacle is being able to live without other people assuming we are aggressive, lazy, loud, obnoxious, etc. Dressing well, being on time, having manners, being able to hold thoughtful conversations, etc are all things that successful people do to achieve their goals and we need to support each other in doing so.

Racism, sexism, classism are things that affect many of us and make it hard to get a job, start a business and such but what intelligent person in their right mind wouldn't hire a well spoken, sharply dressed college grad because she is Black? If they don't then they are missing out and don't deserve to know you anyway ;) Trust me, many doors will open if you take care of your image/personal brand. Image is everything, whether you like it or not.

I encourage you to reflect and see where you can improve, whether it's switching up your style, practicing the art of conversation, smiling more or even basic etiquette skills that you never learned. Please leave a comment if you have any tips!

Finding inspiration in your journey (non-celebs)

We all need someone to look up to for motivation and inspiration. As young black women, our potential role models are limited to risque, hyper-sexualized entertainers such as Beyonce or Rihanna. Not bashing those two as I like their music (sometimes) but they don't come across classy at all and send across a wrong message to young girls.

There are quite a few Black women I've discovered here on the internet that I look to for style, lifestyle and general inspiration. All beautiful black women!

TheLuxeBabe

She's a gorgeous, well spoken woman with a tall model-like figure and such classy style! Not only that but she is educated, speaks multiple languages and is happily married. I think she's from Germany but I could be wrong. She has a love for cosmetics (like me) but doesn't over do it and apply it heavily like a drag queen like some other sisters on youtube do. TheLuxeBabe is a good role model for women who value elegance and grace.

Shirley B. Eniang

Shirley is a fashion blogger/vlogger from the UK. Isn't her accent adorable? I adore her style of dress because it's classy but also youthful, hip and sexy! She doesn't over do it on the makeup either and maintains a healthy lifestyle with healthy eating and exercise. Her figure is to die for and she is also educated! She is a breath of fresh air.

Derin (http://wonders-of-beauty.blogspot.com/)
Derin is a blogger from the UK. Her smooth dark skin and taste in makeup is what made me subscribe. Her hair extensions look realistic and well maintained and from the comment section of her posts, she is a sweetheart.

If there are any bloggers/vloggers/youtube women that you think represent a feminine, classy young Black woman, please leave their info in the comments. I would love to hear from you all!

Moving On

Black women have an image of being bitter and angry, both of which are understanding because many of us are born into bad situations and suffer. Unfortunately, some of us are born into single-parent homes with a stressed out mother trying to provide for the family, grew up in unsafe neighborhoods with a bad public school system and many other sad circumstances. Sexual abuse and domestic violence are big issues in the black community and are often ignored. If you bring these topics up around other Black people, you will get accused of "airing our dirty laundry to the white folks". Yes, people still talk like that in 2014. LOL! So the Black community is aware of the problems many Black women have but they still criticize us for being damaged because of it. Makes no sense, huh? We are brainwashed, degraded and abused and told to "get over it". Well, that's what we will do :) And when we are over it, we will leave those negative people behind and live the life we desire!

As black women, having a bad background can no longer be an excuse for us. Being angry and bitter is what is expected and is holding us back. I strongly recommend seeing a therapist. A college professor once told me that the people who deny needing mental health services are the ones who need it the most! Everyone needs someone to talk to, someone to help them deal with the stress life brings but it's very very important for a damaged woman to seek these services. There is a stigma of having a mental illness like depression and anxiety in American society but even more so in the Black community because it is considered a "white people's problem" and we are told that we have to be strong all the time! We have been strong since we were enslaved and brought to this country and its time to let go. Its time to that that extra weight off and be spiritually free. It's not possible for anyone to be strong all the time without breaking and we shouldn't have to.

I will talk more about mental illness in a later post. This post will be about things you can do outside of professional services. These are some tips to start healing yourself and becoming the feminine, lovely Black queen that you are! It all starts in your head.

Moving on and letting go:

1. Get it out. Write in a journal, tell a therapist or trusted person, sing or even draw about what is inside of you, what is hurting. Having pent up anger, sadness, anxiety will only make the wounds hurt more. You will never be able to get over things if you hold onto them!

2. Leave the past behind. The man who played you and left you with children to fend for yourselves, the father who abandoned you, the bully who made you feel small, the teacher who didn't believe in you are all in your past. Do you think they are losing sleep over what they did to you? No! Accept your enemies, bullies and even failed goals/dreams and prepare to move on. Don't move on with the intention of impressing these people with your success. Don't do it for them. They aren't thinking of you, remember?

 Just because someone hurt you doesn't mean that's what you deserve. Just because someone made you feel like you are ugly, doesn't make you ugly. Just because someone told you that you are stupid doesn't mean that you are stupid! The way someone treats you says more about them than about you. Abuse turns into a cycle. There is a saying: "Hurt people hurt people". It's true! One damaged person hurts an innocent person, then that once innocent person takes out their anger on someone else, who in turn hurts someone else. The cycle needs to stop WITH YOU. Your offspring shouldn't suffer from your bad dating habits and be exposed to no-good men just because your father abandoned you and you never learned how to attract a respectful, high quality man. Your spouse should not have to put up with your attitude problem because you distrust all men because of sour relationships with previous boyfriends. It's true that all women suffer from this but it is important as a Black woman to be aware of this vicious cycle and correct it because the odds are stacked against us and we have a negative image that makes things hard for us to move up and move on.
Don't feel bad about what happened to you sista, feel relieved that it is over. Feel grateful that you survived and can learn from this experience.

3. Figure out what you want in life, but do not put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Society already does that job for you =/ Be honest with yourself and set achievable but challenging goals. Our goals should serve as a map to get exactly where we want to go.

4. Forget about perfection! Chasing perfection is chasing the unachievable. Learn from mistakes instead of getting discouraged by them.

5. Become an early riser. When you have more time in your day to complete tasks, learn, explore hobbies, etc. you will feel more wholesome and it will raise your confidence and sense of self. Having a pleasant present and a promising future will help you get over your past and maybe even make you feel grateful for it! Adversity builds character.

6. Get rid of negativity. Get rid of toxic friends, men who disrespect you, people who don't have your best interest at heart. Don't let racist people hurt your feelings, don't let sexist people make you feel like less of a woman. Don't let feminazis make you feel guilty for expressing your femininity. You deserve to be happy. Block out the negativity and you will have more room for the positivity and growth!

7. Do more by doing less. Do more of what produces good results and less of what doesn't.

8. Make this journey fun. Discover what makes you smile, laugh and feel warm inside and do these things often. Your smile is beautiful, your laughter is musical and your spirit is pure. You deserve to do these things and the world needs to see it! Have fun and enjoy your life while working hard to make your goals a reality.

Thanks for reading this post and I hope this is helpful to you all.

What is femininity and why is it important to African-American women?

According to Wikipedia, femininity is a set of attributes, behaviors and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is socially constructed but made up of both socially-defined and biologically created factors. Both women and men can be feminine. Personality traits traditionally cited as feminine includes gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, compassion and nurturance. Physical traits vary due to social and cultural norms. For instance, in the Western world, light skin, thinness and long hair are considered ideal feminine traits but in other countries, that might not be the case. For example, in parts of Africa, having large hips and dark skin is what men look for in women.

Why is femininity important to African-American women? Society has convinced women of all ethnic backgrounds that being feminine is inferior, when in fact it isn't! But for African-American women, we have been denied the opportunity to be feminine! From being forced to do labor on plantations, to having to work outside the home, to being the victim of harassment and bullying in the media, our image and self esteem has taken a huge blow.

Do you think women in the early 1900s were allowed to stay home and care for their children, or even explore hobbies? No, they had to work and work hard outside the home and care for other people's families in order to make a living. Those days are over (in some ways) but our image is still that of a mammy, Aunt Jemima, Jezebel. How many sistas have the opportunity to take care of their families without having to worry about doing it as a single mother? How many have a man love and respect her role as a wife and mom? Yes, there are many but especially among the lower- and working-class, this sounds like just a dream.

When many people hear the words "Black women" they think of loud, obnoxious, bald headed hoodrats with bad attitudes, baby daddy drama and no education, living off welfare in the projects who say things such as "I'm a strong. black woman and I DON'T NEED NO MAN!!!" We are hypersexualized and dogged-out in pop culture by rappers with broken hearts and mommy issues. This is not only what the media focuses on and tells the rest of the world that we are like! This is not all of us. We are beautiful, loving, sexy, sweet, caring, intelligent and creative women and deserve to be treated as such. We deserve to be respected as much as the rest of the world's women but we must fight for it. It starts with lifting each other up, assimilating (without selling out) and demanding respect ( in a feminine way, of course).

Many African-American women these days suffer from low self-esteem because we are often told we are ugly, unwanted and our issues are ignored by both the Feminist Party and the Black Community, who serves to uplift the "Black man who needs a break". All we have is each other and reclaiming our femininity is a step in repairing our minds, bodies and souls. I will admit that many of these problems affect women of all ethnic and economic backgrounds. I welcome all readers and hope everyone can learn and become comfortable in their bodies and minds! Welcome :)