According to Wikipedia, femininity is a set of attributes, behaviors and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is socially constructed but made up of both socially-defined and biologically created factors. Both women and men can be feminine. Personality traits traditionally cited as feminine includes gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, compassion and nurturance. Physical traits vary due to social and cultural norms. For instance, in the Western world, light skin, thinness and long hair are considered ideal feminine traits but in other countries, that might not be the case. For example, in parts of Africa, having large hips and dark skin is what men look for in women.
Why is femininity important to African-American women? Society has convinced women of all ethnic backgrounds that being feminine is inferior, when in fact it isn't! But for African-American women, we have been denied the opportunity to be feminine! From being forced to do labor on plantations, to having to work outside the home, to being the victim of harassment and bullying in the media, our image and self esteem has taken a huge blow.
Do you think women in the early 1900s were allowed to stay home and care for their children, or even explore hobbies? No, they had to work and work hard outside the home and care for other people's families in order to make a living. Those days are over (in some ways) but our image is still that of a mammy, Aunt Jemima, Jezebel. How many sistas have the opportunity to take care of their families without having to worry about doing it as a single mother? How many have a man love and respect her role as a wife and mom? Yes, there are many but especially among the lower- and working-class, this sounds like just a dream.
When many people hear the words "Black women" they think of loud, obnoxious, bald headed hoodrats with bad attitudes, baby daddy drama and no education, living off welfare in the projects who say things such as "I'm a strong. black woman and I DON'T NEED NO MAN!!!" We are hypersexualized and dogged-out in pop culture by rappers with broken hearts and mommy issues. This is not only what the media focuses on and tells the rest of the world that we are like! This is not all of us. We are beautiful, loving, sexy, sweet, caring, intelligent and creative women and deserve to be treated as such. We deserve to be respected as much as the rest of the world's women but we must fight for it. It starts with lifting each other up, assimilating (without selling out) and demanding respect ( in a feminine way, of course).
Many African-American women these days suffer from low self-esteem because we are often told we are ugly, unwanted and our issues are ignored by both the Feminist Party and the Black Community, who serves to uplift the "Black man who needs a break". All we have is each other and reclaiming our femininity is a step in repairing our minds, bodies and souls. I will admit that many of these problems affect women of all ethnic and economic backgrounds. I welcome all readers and hope everyone can learn and become comfortable in their bodies and minds! Welcome :)
