Being an Angry BW is understandable but don't let it take over your life!

Why are BW angry? How we can stop being angry?

Short answer: We are the victims of racism and sexism. We can stop being angry by not giving a f&*k! LOL

First, let's define anger. Anger is an emotional response to one's psychological interpretation of feeling threatened. Anger is based upon projection of fear.

Feeling threatened as a BW is completely understandable seeing as how we face discrimination from both racists and sexists. We have the unique experience of being Black and a woman. The women who march, protest and rally for Black male victims of violent racism are the women who focus only on racism; they do not see or care that they face sexism from the very same men who they risk their lives protecting. These women do not see how these very same men are the ones who do not protect them when they are victims of racism, too. They believe that if there were no racism then their lives would be easier but that is not the case. They still would be oppressed because they are women. They refuse to accept the fact that we are not the preference of “our” men . They refuse to see that the modern BM's response to racism is not to rebuild the community and be self-sufficient, but to get revenge on the WM who oppress them and the BW who failed to raise them to be real men.

BW are not bitter, we are disappointed. Modern BM are the bitter ones. They punish women who remind them of their mother because they blame her for failing to raise him and teach him how to be on level with WM, AM and HM. He knows that he can't compete so instead of improving himself and encouraging other BM to do the same, he resents his own mother instead of his absent father (isn't that funny?). The ultimate revenge for him is to “steal” a WW, AW or HW from their men who show him up in every way and try to “taint” that women and produce children that are half him. It's all a game to get revenge but instead of hurting WM, he is entertaining them. Every other race is laughing at his desperate attempt to get even instead of get on par. If BP back in the day had continued to build up Black America instead of integrate with White America, the BC wouldn't be in the state it is now.

Black women are angry because we are intelligent. We see the world for what it is and deep inside we know what the BM's agenda is. We handle this higher awareness by becoming angry. We stew in the anger and turn it inward, that's when it becomes depression, low-self esteem and other self-destructive behavior.

What should we do about anger? Get rid of the self-destructive habits that are caused by anger but keep enough (a small amount) to fuel the spirit to do better! Turn the disappointment from the BC into motivation to improve our lives. Not just your own life but for our daughters, nieces, sisters, friends and neighbors. I don't expect every BW to jump on board as we have been brainwashed to hate ourselves, thus some of us hate each other. I have hate in my heart for NO ONE but I saw the world, especially the BC for what it is at a VERY young age.

Here are some tips for letting go of anger:

1. Acknowledge it
2. Seek help. I'm a big believer in therapy.
3. Channel it. Not only will exercise help you mentally but physically as well. Same with creative outlets like writing poetry and singing.
4. Decide that you don't want to add hate to this world.
5. Replace revenge and seeking justice with a plan to strive for a better life.

BW need to concentrate less on the negative things about us on the tv, radio and social media. Purge your life from the bull crap! What do you think WW, AW and HW do when they read a negative article or blogpost or someone makes a joke about them? Brush it off and keep doing them. They know they are desired and work on themselves to get the best in education, jobs and men. BW should do the same. We are desired, too. Men of all races love them some sistas, don't let butthurt BM or mammies tell you any different. You may have to move to Europe or change your whereabouts (move to a more populated places like NYC or London, get a job in a male-dominated field, hang out in social hangouts that you normally wouldn't) but there are men out there who not only like BW but prefer us. The next time a comedian makes a joke about BW, do not get riled up and give your energy to this fool! Make a note to make sure not to give this person your resources (time and money) and keep it moving. Let the BM spend his time fighting racism and let the white feminists spend their time fighting sexism. Both these groups have proven that they don't care about BW so forget them! You've got better things to do sista! Like building a fabulous life and enjoying the fruit of your labor and social climbing ;)

From now on, I want you to pledge to yourself that you will dedicate your time to things that are beneficial to your emotional, mental, financial, education and romantic well-being. Despite what you may have heard, BW are naturally beautiful, feminine, intelligent, sexy and creative. We deserve better but to get better we must learn how to respect and love ourselves.

Here is a list of what I will be concentrating on. I'd like for you to take a look at it and come up with your own list of what you'd like to do with all the free time that you have now.

1. Obtaining an advanced degree.
2. Visiting at least 4 more countries.
3. Having a fun and memorable wedding.
4. Losing weight.
5. Finishing the list of books I want to read.
6. Becoming more cultured.
7. Starting a non-profit.
8. Creating multiple streams of income.
9. Buying my first house.
10. Expanding my skill set for access to better jobs and more opportunities for side businesses.
11. Learning a third or fourth language.
12. Improving my water color painting skills.
13. Blogging.
14. Building a fabulous wardrobe.
15. Learning more about fashion and making my own clothing.
16. Growing my hair to waist length.
17. Publish my own cookbook.

If you have any questions or comments, leave a comment below and I will get back to you. I can also be reached at enlightenedfemme (at) gmail.com