Feminine hobbies

I have compiled a list of hobbies for those of you who are looking for something fun to fill up your spare time.

• soap making

• flower arranging

• cooking/baking

• gardening

• painting

• language learning

• reading and writing

• playing an instrument

• dancing

• sewing/crocheting

• singing

• interior designing

Hobbies are important because they give you something to look forward to and feel good. Feminine hobbies are important for harnessing your femininity and creativity. You can take any of the hobbies above and make it an outlet for stress, sadness, happiness, hope, joy. etc.

My favorite hobbies are sewing and gardening because I feel that they are both vintage and it makes me feel extra lady like :) I put on some soft music and I can sew/garden for hours! Plus when you find something you are passionate about, you yearn for improvement and seek knowledge about the subject. For instance after I grew my first tomato vine, I wanted to grow more types of tomatoes and now I have 13!

What are your favorite hobbies?

Winter Time

1. Try a humidifier. It works wonders for the skin, hair and sinuses.

2. Wear dresses! Yes, you can still wear pretty and feminine dressed during the winter as long as you layer to keep warm. Wear leggings underneath, a coat over it and add a scarf or jewelry.

*What you can also do it wear patterned tights to add some oomph

3. Get your vitamin D. Our melanin blocks some the Vitamin D from the sun that we need and it gets worse in the winter time. Vitamin D deficiency can worsen the symptoms of depression, anxiety and a variety of physical ills like joint paints and muscle spasms. Consult with your doctor before starting a vitamin regimen. You can also drink a cup of orange juice :)

4. Wear a bold lip.

5. Get some glitter and sparkle!

Black women and the pursuit of excellence

The world is turning at a faster pace every year and we need to keep up! In order to have stability, we need to learn how to adapt to change. Don't get left behind, sis. Stay on pace with the world. Increase and expand your skill set.

As humans, we are made to absorb information. While we aren't computers and can't remember each and every detail, it is important to have a basic understanding of a variety of topics as well as experiences. Who only wants to be good at one thing? What kind of conversations can you have with people if you are only knowledgeable on one particular subject?

Here is a list I came up with. If you have any to add-on, leave a comment :)

1. Analyze your unique life experiences and determine how they can help you
2. Explore new hobbies
3. Discover new vessels of art/creativity (beside hip-hop, music videos and urban fiction books because they have shown that they are not for US. They depict us as ugly, gold digging, unwanted, crass and vulgar, struggling women. We can do better, there are many more things to watch, listen to and read that will help us, not hinder)
4. Try a "non-black" sport
5. Learn how to network. The unemployment rate for Black college students is twice as high, and lack of networking skills was cited as the main reason why. Don't let that be you.
6. Rack up some accomplishments (an award, certificate of completion, etc)
7. Travel, even if it isn't far and exotic. Take baby steps :)
8. Learn about other parts of the world
9. Try new cuisines
10. Develop your body
11. Adopt a healthier lifestyle, free of alcohol, drugs, fast food
12. Get an education. If you already have, continue education! Take advanced classes, get an extra certification, etc. Like I said, every year the world turns faster and new technologies and scientific theories are produced. Learn how to code, use a computer or other gadget or even a new language! You can never be over-educated.
13. Volunteer

Small ways to boost your confidence

1. Identify your talents.
It doesn't matter what it is! I happen to be pretty good at cross stitching. I've mentioned this to someone and they called it "granny" but it's something I enjoy and that I'm good at. For every person who doesn't like what you do, there are many more who appreciate it and find it interesting.

2. Remind you of yourself.
Every morning, write something about yourself. It can be something big, like your worst fear or what you want most in life or something small like your favorite color or type of dog. Keep these thoughts in a journal and look back at them from time to time. Taking the time to acknowledge the things you care about make you feel like you matter, like you're a real person with thought, hope and dreams.

I started doing this two years ago. At first, I used various colors to write things and draw little cartoons to match. Now, I've upgraded to making images, sort of like memes. Things like this are all over the internet. Google "things I like" or "bucket list" or "things that make me smile" and you will find some done by people all over the world! It's amazing how much we can have in common with total strangers from completely different backgrounds, right? :)

3. Let go of the need to be accepted and loved by everyone.
Not only is it unrealistic but it's too much work and energy! There's a quote by a woman I admire for her femininity, Dita Von Teese

Aspiring to be loved by everyone requires you to constantly change yourself to fit a certain mold. That will cause you mental anguish and you will start to feel lost. After a while, you will begin to wonder "who am I?"

4. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.
If you knew better, you'd do better. Put more effort into learning how to do better and less into making yourself feel guilty about mistakes that we ALL make. Noone is perfect.

5. Show gratitude.
Gratitude is the quality of being grateful and the readiness of showing appreciation. Being alive is something to be thankful for! Many people take this for granted and it is truly sad. Every day is an opportunity to appreciate this beautiful planet, your culture, other people's culture and everything else.

Speaking for myself, I am very grateful to be American. I was born into a family with lots of mental, drug, alcohol and poverty issues but I am grateful for the opportunity I had to get away from it all. There are resources upon resources in this country to turn your life around! Even though I believe there is a socio-economic and political system to keep certain groups of people in their place, there are still many ways to go from being poor to being middle class and even rich. Some people in countries aren't afforded these privileges :( That's why I'm grateful because I can recognize and be thankful for it. Not only that, but one day when I can afford it, I would like to give back and help people. That would definetly build my confidence-knowing I can make a difference in someone's life and seeing them smile!


Those are just a few tips I had jotted down in one of my many notebooks. If you have any confidence tips, please post them below and share. Thanks! xoxo

Finding inspiration in your journey (non-celebs)

We all need someone to look up to for motivation and inspiration. As young black women, our potential role models are limited to risque, hyper-sexualized entertainers such as Beyonce or Rihanna. Not bashing those two as I like their music (sometimes) but they don't come across classy at all and send across a wrong message to young girls.

There are quite a few Black women I've discovered here on the internet that I look to for style, lifestyle and general inspiration. All beautiful black women!

TheLuxeBabe

She's a gorgeous, well spoken woman with a tall model-like figure and such classy style! Not only that but she is educated, speaks multiple languages and is happily married. I think she's from Germany but I could be wrong. She has a love for cosmetics (like me) but doesn't over do it and apply it heavily like a drag queen like some other sisters on youtube do. TheLuxeBabe is a good role model for women who value elegance and grace.

Shirley B. Eniang

Shirley is a fashion blogger/vlogger from the UK. Isn't her accent adorable? I adore her style of dress because it's classy but also youthful, hip and sexy! She doesn't over do it on the makeup either and maintains a healthy lifestyle with healthy eating and exercise. Her figure is to die for and she is also educated! She is a breath of fresh air.

Derin (http://wonders-of-beauty.blogspot.com/)
Derin is a blogger from the UK. Her smooth dark skin and taste in makeup is what made me subscribe. Her hair extensions look realistic and well maintained and from the comment section of her posts, she is a sweetheart.

If there are any bloggers/vloggers/youtube women that you think represent a feminine, classy young Black woman, please leave their info in the comments. I would love to hear from you all!